The Bluest Monday

Side effect after a nice trip. Super down, super blue.

Symptoms came once I received Miss I's sms. Just forget about it. I won't mention it here. Super blue dah.

Then seeing Miss N doing photoshop on the things I did, I guess I'm giving them trouble instead of helping them.

I guess they feel sien to see me also. Working on that microstation in a super slow speed also =.=

The blue became light blue after I went to submit my stuffs. Called Mr. J and so co-incidently, he was coming to cheras from Puchong. He picked me up at BTS station to citywrite for printing, then to school to submit, then fetched me back to BTS station! So kind of him.

Then I was thinking, I want to do more good things, to the community, to the world. I feel blessed for today, the help of Mr. J really meant a lot to me. Really a lot.

When I went to the camp last weekend, the help julia and eddy and some other peoples had gave me, I felt very grateful and blessed as well... I wonder can I be so blessed all the time.

Knew my friend has been friend with a colleague, that I've came here for extra one week still gain no much friends. I think it's really my problem. @.@ sometimes I really one kind of isolating self person. =.= When all these thinkings go on, the blue-er I started to be.

@.@ Everyone actually left amoda before me. I knew they thought I still wanna work ot in the office. But haih, still felt @.@ omgg. not their fault also. Just that the blue-ness will spread.

Then no tom yam fried rice.

Then picked up a call from sh. I wonder is it a karma, if I have hurt others, I need to pay back by hearing the cryings of my loves one. Made me crying along. 3 years ago it was j, now it was sh. T.T I really hate guys, especially them who hurt them. They really couldn't figure out how much I hated them.

haih. blue until i couldn't breath. I wish I'm still climbing that mountain that I feel so hard to climb rather than feeling blue this way.

Had a nice meeting with Mr Seong today. My second idol from architecture world. He is 45 now. I don't know, how, or why, just felt that all the knowledge he had, all the words he said, were all golds, so valuable. or invaluable? He was damn right, we knew nothing, like moron.

Can see a lot of patterns inside the office. But I couldn't remember any right now.

Ciao. bye.

working eve

Domo and architecture

Well. The deeper the night goes, a bit gan jeong i started to feel. @@ lol. first day of work in an architecture firm. Really don't know how the world will go. Feel like it will go freakish. LOL.

Went to sing karaoke with SooHui this evening. not bad. lol. The old songs like 爱如潮水，不让我的眼泪陪我过夜，过火，kept playing in my head now.

圭贤，我的爱，version of 不让我的眼泪陪我过夜。

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

给你满满的爱！

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

给，朋友。

看了朋友的部落，其实心里泛了涟漪。哈哈。不小心，又酸酸的。是真实，是真挚，所以有感动。
好怀念华语。

可能是自己太幸福了，有时除了为自己所拥有的一切感到开心感谢，还会觉得不好意思。感觉这是不应该的。可是感觉上当你站在我这看看，应该也会有所感受。朋友都这么想回家，而我就住在家里。很想体验一下自己一个人在外边的感觉。至少有一天，我可以和你们有同一种感受，体会。更珍惜拥有。

应该就是这样还是怎样，我和姐都不想成为温室里的小花。在别人眼里终会让人觉得很令人讨厌，不好相处吧。以前在tarc的时候，跟了一般朋友熟了后，偶然下，其中一名好友，告诉我，第一次看到我觉得我是超难相处的一个人。感觉上现在还是很难相处。说话很容易，可是进入真实自己的世界，大概每个人都很难做到吧。不然别人就会觉得我很强。因为一直都在前面。曾经有一次中学时在电影里看了一部很可怜的韩国片，哭成泪人。结果就被朋友笑了。从此在电影看戏，再怎么惨，眼睛还是干的。

也有在学校崩溃的时候。中五时，不知发生什么事，被老师叫起来回答一题超级容易的数学题，我却不会，过后不知是心里有什么压力，眼泪不停地流。停了，听到那个傻婆唱歌哄我别哭，又哭得更厉害了。心里难受得很，很难堪，很讨厌自己的眼泪跟表现出来的懦弱，可是就是收不了那桶水。接着就是花文学会的告别会致词时让别人看过我流泪，还有在tarc的最后一天。小云那天没出现，说眼睛不舒服，我想大概也是不喜欢离别的情景吧。我也超讨厌的。以后怎样，无论如何，也不能再让别人看见我的眼泪！那是多么珍贵的东西呀！LOL!

无论如何都要变强。比别人，比男生都强。不知是怎样，看恐怖片也会笑。就是有这么一种ego 在。可有时想依赖，却会羡慕朋友。但过了那时期，却佩服自己起来。好像又长大了一点点？就那么一点点。哈哈哈。好像很幼稚。还是自个儿开心。

怎样不想成为小花，始终还是小花。懂我家的人就会懂的吧。

看见朋友，其实都很想保护，尤其刚刚读完那位朋友的部落，的朋友。@@总觉得自己真的太幸福了。 反而撒娇的我真的会回避三分。我只是不喜欢太喜欢埋怨的人。惜福对我来说在人生道理里真的很重要。@.@ 也没有讨厌啦。我们也很欢乐。嘿嘿。

其实今天看你眼肿，大概不止因为四点睡吧。应该还有“水”的后遗症。我自己猜的啦。

并没有觉得我们十分很像还是啥的，可是我真的觉得我明白你的感受。可能是读女校的关系？

每个人心里都会有懦弱的一面吧。并没有错啦。我发泄的时候脸黑黑，可是在改啦。有在努力。可能给你们的印象怎样还是改不了。哈哈。撒娇老小也很容易不开心，崩溃。一抹乃很难得，可也看过她很不开心的时候。也知道她其实平常开开心心的，也有小女孩懦弱崩溃伤心的时候。可你很少把心情摆在脸上。就算很不开心，很不对的事情发生了，在别人面前也可以掩饰得很好。我有很佩服。可不知道这样会不会累？一个人的时候，大多很容易忍不住吧？家对每个人都这么重要。果然concept of place 是有道理的。 lol

其实可以跟我们说说啊。可能帮不了怎样，至少可以倾听倾听。

可以撑啦，撑累了，休息告诉我们也可以的。

总有一天你会开窍的啦，说话。我有个以前安静得不得了的好朋友，中学也是我死缠烂打和朋友们的魅力才和我们多了点话，可是还是很安静。毕业， 出来工作，做了很多暂时工来赚外快，整个人不同了，比我还懂得说话了叻。勿担心啦。多多练习，跟我们多说话吧！哈哈。

朋友一直都在。=）

有时，真的好想保护。。。 @@

不说了。词穷了。平常也很难开口说这些。别把自己缩得太小！你对我们也是很重要的！！加持加持！

levu levu.<3 =D

*最近大家都感觉上开始有点寂寞起来，哈哈。来听听我们都寂寞！* yeahhahahhaa.

射手座，还是好想飞和体验。

this is the hardest moment after all. hope everyone could hang on and gayao til the end. :s

High-School-Girl-Like-Crush-On-Stranger

Crush towards a stranger neighbor. This bicycle guy.

First time saw him in the lift, the lift door open, and oh my gosh him standing there, with his red bicycle! And I acted like a weird soul. -_-

I like to see his slippers outside the house everytime i passed by. HAHAHA.

I don't used to see him straight to his face whenever I met him. I think I looked nerd, better hide myself from letting him see my nerd face.

Met him few more times only. We acted like there's no one there, never say hi also. What kind of neighbor is this. haih. ahhaha

He always dropped money.

but he's handsome.

olala.

omgg. Like a high school girl. Funny.

But I prefer distance now, not like how I used to think like high school girl. hahaha.

Better to keep distance. LOL. Anyway, i think he has girlfriend now.

I really like this crush feeling.

Somehow make me feel younger. hahahhaa.

just a random post.

thank note

suddenly feel like thanking them.

thanks for being so understanding and supportive...

thanks for the slightly massage on the shoulder yesterday.

thanks for not asking me some stuffs that you all know I might not want to tell.

thanks for not being angry at me when I'm "Miss "Fan"", real "fan" i mean in Chinese.

thanks for nice breakfast session.

thanks for the stuffs you all bought for me and money spent on me.

I love you all.

I'm blessed to be one part of this family. Will change to be better

do nothing

I want to do nothing right now.